Denise Tan

My solitude of happiness, sadness, hurt and all emotions. I like pouring emotions into this place. Because nobody reads it but me. And whatever I dont know, will not kill me.

I keep memories;
http://twishort.com/abzhd

Tumblr.
Twitter.
Twitter2.


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Music Playlist at MixPod.com


Time Machine. September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011

Isit my fault if i were to say, my smile here wasnt genuine?
I didnt want to be a photobomb, so I smiled.
But at the same time, it has become a natural thing for me already.
This facade...




I really miss this.
So so much.
My batch from 2009.
Where have you girls went?
Can 2 years really be so much of a change?
I really dont want to know anymore..

And would you all even believe,
If i said this was one of my most memorable birthdays ever?
I doubt anyone even cares.


I often ask myself,
Why i changed so so much from primary school times.
Is it really because of the people?
Or have i just slowly become a person with even lower self-esteem.
I cant find any part of myself to be proud of anymore.
Like I said, i must learn to love myself, before i can love others.
I miss so much things, and so many people.




My best friends from primary school.
Who stood by me throughout everything.
And loved me for who I am.
I miss you girls ;~;





My life.
Its full of frustrations, and disappointments.
One day it'll all become too much and I'll jump haha.
Let's seeeee what would be a more AA death.
Window or train tracks?
^^


The only way I see that im able to distract myself from all these things..
Is to be a studious nerd.
I've been doing all my homework way way way early,
Revising shit i never thought i would even touch.
Since i cant do well as a person,
I shall do well as a student.
At least i'll earn more money in the future?




& i cannot describe how much this picture has affected me.
It kinda speaks into my soul.
I cried my eyes out h2h2 with my sister yesterday,
I really dont want to be this denise anymore.
I want to impress,
I want to fascinate.
Call this a fetish or narcissist side of myself.
But its something i really really want.
I might just push myself to the very edge trying to achieve all this.
Achieve what you might ask?
A 20kg weight loss.
Preferably by june'11
Latest by dec'11.
Watch me change~~~~

Isnt all this amusing?
I have much confidence,
but its easily broken down by something so minor like, f r i e n d s.
My life is a joke.
It really is.
OTL