Saturday, May 14, 2011
3 months since I last blogged.
This place sure holds a lot of meaning for me.
Glad to say I've successfully had a change of heart, emotions in the past few weeks.
But of course, for there to be change, some things must've happened.
➝ The whole thing with
inf9.
Yeah, those who are close to me would've known what happened.
And i dont want to keep backtracking, keep reminding myself of it.
I want to forget it, and live my life a whole life better.
But all the crying, ranting, shouting even, with rab and fatin throughout the whole time, i guess it really made our friendship stronger.
And sam's forever there for me too, willing to listen to my troubles :')
I love and cherish these unnies even more than ever.
Was reading my past posts, i was really close with them.
But i guess its only what i felt.
A pity still ~
The posting of the quitting thing didnt change me.
Its when i made that comeback against them.
In that split second, i realised that i stood up for myself.
And the whole burden of unhappiness on my heart was lifted.
Guess it wasnt a bundle of hurt, but honestly, fear.
Scared of those girls.
Of how they could be like this to me.
Or simply, whatever they were doing.
That was what caused my inability to walk out of depression.
But ever since i left, im able to smile now.
Seriously, i smile so so much more nowadays.
I laugh at more stuff, steps taken are lighter and happier too.
Even with things like studies, im able to find joy in.
All I can say is, i've become a real happy girl now ☺
ღ
Its been my midyears aka prelims1 this past week.
5th may start, currently in the mid of it.
Ending in 4 papers, 5 days time!! \o/
I've been studying every single day after school since the 3rd?
Late late last minute chionging but i guess it was worth it.
Daily visits to airport/starbucks sitting there for hours and just cramming everything i read into my head. But at least i wasnt alone :)
Yes, its been really really tiring. All the migraines/headspins..
I keep wanting to give up, to tell myself it doesnt matter, but i hold on!
I see it as, i work harder now - less to prepare for Os.
I get to recognise my weaknesses and areas requiring improvement now.
Better early than late!! ;D
After this period, no i wont just go back slacking and all again.
I will try and continue the revising practice every day, but less stress/hard on myself ;)
'6:55 PM♡.
